International Chatroom
by TheBookwormsAreComing
Summary: Japan has created a forum where he and the other Axis can chat and stuff. With the help of Korea, I have successfully hacked into it and have gained unlimited access to their conversations! Rated T for France, infrequent swearing and... ehh, references. Maybe implied pairings. Enjoy WARNING: THERE IS A LOT OF CRACK. Seriously.
1. Axis Powers Are Online

**Hi guys! **

**Me again. Aaaand here is my new storynotreallyastorythingo! Japan has created a forum or whatever for the Axis Powers~ enjoy their weird conversations that I hacked into! **

Japan is online

Germany is online

Italy is online

Japan: Hello, my fellow Axis.

Germany: Japan, what is this thing?

Japan: It is a chatroom, Germany, we can use it to communicate

Italy: SQUEE THIS IS SO-A COOL!

Germany: *sighs* Itaria, I think your caps-lock is on

Italy: VE~? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Germany: Here, let me help you.

Germany is offline

Italy is offline

Japan: Well, it appears I am alone once again

Korea is online

Korea: HEY JAPAN! Say "election"! XD XD XD

Japan: ... How did _you_ get on here?

Korea: This forum was made in Korea XD

Japan is offline


	2. Le Allies

**Hello again, hope you liked my first chappie. **

**For some strange reason, Fanfiction won't let me type this unless I have Bold on. Also, it doesn't let those arrow things appear when I post these. Bleh. **

America is online

England is online

England: America, you wanker, what the HELL is this?!

America: a chatroom dude! the axis have 1 so I thought we should 2!

England: How many times must I tell you to use the Queen's English?

America: what? what's the difference between American English and the Queen's whatever?

England: *facepalms*

France is online

France: It's stupid.

America: u frenchies luv 2 h8 america, don't u? y can't u go back 2 giving us statues of hot green chicks?

England: DAMNIT HOW DO I TURN THIS THING OFF?

France: Angleterre onhonhonhonhon~

England: *snaps fingers in a Z shape* HELL NAW

France: Did you know that the Eiffel Tower is taller than Big Ben?

America: eeeeeeewwwwww franceeeee

England: Bloody hell Frog, bloody hell to you

America: omg this is lik totally weird now, thx france

England: Use proper grammar, America!

America: Omg Iggy, don't tell me how 2 express myself! Gawd, y can't u just be, lik, normal, ur so annoying

England: you think I'm annoying...

England is offline

America: wtf wuz THAT about?!

France: Onhonhon, Amerique, you truly don't know? *wiggles eyebrows*

France is offline

America: I'm so confuuuused! D:


	3. America Owes Me Money

**Yay, 5 views within 2 hours of posting! **

America is online

China is online

America: making my way downtown, walking fast like a boss

China: America! You owe me money, aru!

America: walking faster...

China: (T_T)


	4. Italy and Dinosaurs

**I'm back again~! With much insanity and Italianness!**

Italy is online

Germany is online

Italy: I just realised something!

Italy: We don't know what dinosaurs sounded like!

Germany: Vhy ze hell did you vake me at four o'clock in za morning to tell me zhis?!

Italy: But, Germany, if we don't know what they sound like, why do we say they roared? They could have been speaking fluent German for all we know!

Germany is offline

Italy: Germany? Germany? Nooo! Come back!

Italy is offline

Undead_Pteranodon is online

Undead_Pteranodon: Guten morgen Herr Pterodactyl


	5. Guest Appearance: Finland's 2P!

**H/N (Hacker's Note): **

**Just wanted to tell Memenesia that the chappies are short because I can only break into the system for about two minutes at a time. Anyway, I am learning so mayyybe they'll become longer later on! **

**- TheBookwormsAreComing**

**P.S. I can haz line break? XD**

* * *

><p>Norway is online<p>

Finland is online

Finland: NORWAY HELP ME THIS GUY WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ME IS TRYING TO KILL ME

Finland:HE HAS A KNIFE AND I HAVE NO KNIFE AND NO SU-SAN

Norway: What the hell? Why is your 2p the most evil?

Norway: It's probably because you're too nice

Finland: PERKELE PLEASE HELP ME

Norway: Where is Sweden, anyway?

Finland: _Your_ 2p is setting fire to his sofa

Norway: Holy crap no upset Sve is worse than any 2p Nordic

Norway is offline

Finland: NOOOO SOMEBODY SAVE MEEE

2P!Finland is online

Finland: Oh my god

Finland is offline


	6. We Are Your Eyebrows

**H/N: **

**Just wanted to say- I don't have any fixed days for updates (except maybe Christmas & Hallowe'en specials), I update when I can. **

**And I have reached new levels of randomness in the creation of this chapter! **

England is online

Eyebrows is online

England: Um, hello?

Eyebrows: hi.

England: uh... How are you?

Eyebrows: Lovely, lovely. Y'know, it's just swell being stuck to your face.

England: Okay, seriously, who is this?

Eyebrows: We are your eyebrows.

England: Is this America?

Eyebrows: No. We are your eyebrows.

England: this is rather creepy...

Eyebrows: love us igggggy

England: What the actual hell?!

Eyebrows: you know you want meh

England: WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!

Eyebrows: we love you England. We know EVERYTHING about you~

England: I have no idea who you are

Eyebrows: WE ARE YOUR EYEBROWS AND WE LOVE YOU!

England: get out of my life!

Eyebrows: We can't! We're literally attached...

England: AGH

England is offline

America is online

America: *reads through previous chat*

America: wtf man... wtf.

Eyebrows: Hi.

America is offline

**Forgot to write this earlier- I dedicate this entire fic to one of my best friends ever, who first introduced me to anime. If she hasn't shown me Hetalia this wouldn't exist!**


	7. Ring Ring!

**H/N: **

**... No comment. **

Axis Powers are online

Allies are online

America: Hey guys! Watch this!

America: Ring ring!

Italy: *pops up* hello?

America: Ring ring!

Italy: *looks around* Hello?

America: Ring Ring!

Italy: *runs in circles* Hello?!

America: RING RING!

Italy: *falls to the ground and rocks back and forth* H-HELLO?!

Germany & Japan: *facepalm*

England & France & China & Russia: *facepalm*

England: Leave the poor child alone...

Allies are offline

Japan is offline

Germany is offline

Italy: DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!

Canada: I'm still here.

Italy: *screams* GHOST!

Canada: *sighs*

Italy is offline

the chatroom is empty

Canada: No, it isn't. I'm still online.

the chatroom is empty

Canada: I said I'm still here!

shut up Canadia the chatroom's empty

Canada: fine.

Canadia is offline

the chatroom is still empty


	8. SPAMANO

**You know how crazy I am for reviews? I miiiight do that annoying thing where I don't update until I get a certain amount. At the moment I'm thinking of making it to ten before I post. **

**Thanks to stormyOsprey, Demigod of Nyx, NanoWorker, Memenesia, and icanhazfanfic for the reviews! Hint hint, you others out there- no silent readers, please! **

**Anyway, if I keep on with this note it'll be longer than the actual chapter... Or not. This one is longish compared to the rest**

Italy is online

Romano is online

Italy: FRATELLO! FRATELLO!

Romano: What the hell do you want, Veneziano?

Italy: hi

Romano: *sighs* hi. So... What are you doing right now?

Italy: ummmm reading! *hides*

Romano: IDIOT BROTHER. WHAT IS IT

Italy: um... Spamano fanfiction

Romano: *comprehension level loading*

Romano: OH MY ****ING **** YOU ****** ****** I AM GOING TO ****ING _MURDER_ YOU AND THEN SACRIFICE YOU TO THE ****ING ITALIAN MAFIA

Italy: GERMANY SAVE MEEE

Romano: *beats Italy with white flag while screaming bloody murder*

Germany is online

Germany: *backs away slowly* I think I'll let you deal with this one alone, Italy...

Germany is offline

Italy: NOOOOO

Romano: *beats Italy with poptart*

Spain is online

Spain: Hello, little tomate~ what are you doing?

Romano: *drops poptart* nothin

Italy: HE TRIED TO-

Romano: *covers Italy's mouth* nothin

Spain: Come on, Lovi, why don't we go make some pasta my little lovito?

Romano: okay Toni

Spain & Romano: *skips off into sunset*

Spain is offline

Romano: (°_°) *death glares Italy*

Romano is offline

Italy: *flails* SPAMANO

Italy: *jumps off building* SPAMANO

Italy: *lands on oversized Gilbird* SPAMANO

Italy: *flies off into sunset after Spain and Romano* SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO SPAMANO

**H/N: **

**I ship it. One of mah OTPs**

**Italy: SPAMANO**


	9. The Meaning Of Purgatory

**Hi there! **

**Before you read the next instalment of craziness, I just want to say something: I FRUKING LOVE YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, FAVES, FOLLOWS AND SUPPORT! It's nowhere near finished and already it's doing amazingly well. I get onto my email account and get really excited when I see notifications from Fanfiction. **

**Also, in answer to some reviews: I have a bit of an idea for a USUK chapter (not my OTP any more- FRUK AND AMERIPAN FOREVER- but I still really like it) but it won't be coming for a while. I hinted at it in the second chapter a little! To Roseyposey (THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW) and Marmaladequeen, I sort of ship RusAme (though I call it AmeRus) because it can sometimes work and be Prussia-level awesome~. If I post an AmeRus chat, they won't be in love, but they can be close. Even if Mother Russia scares the living **** out of everyone. I'm working on the Polandball thing too, I asked my friend about it. I don't want to rush one, okay? I hadn't heard of it before I got your review :)**

Romano is online

Romano:

Purr= happy cat noise

Gato= Spanish for cat

Therefore,

Purgatory= an infinite realm of happy Spanish cats

Romano is offline

**Oh my maple... that was shorter than the flipping Author's Note... **

**Oopsies. **


	10. Sealand Gets The Talk

**Hey, just wanted to say (IT RHYMES XD XD XD) thanks for all the reviews and views! And I got a couple of views in South Korea, so now I know you guys don't like your country's character I won't put him in again, okay? I might make a couple of references to him but they won't be rude or whatever and he won't logon to the chatroom**

America is online

France is online

England is online

Sealand is online

Sealand: Wow! Thanks for letting me onto your super-special chatroom thingy! Does this mean I get to be my own country now?

America: No.

Sealand: :(

France: Onhonhonhonhon we just need to tell you something important.

Sealand: ...

England: As your guardian, I have decided it is high time we give you "The Talk".

Sealand is offline

America: welp. We tried.

England is offline

America is offline

France is offline


	11. IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL FOLLOWERS

**Hey, guys. **

**This isn't a note to say that I'm discontinuing the story. Don't worry! **

**I've got really sick recently, and it may not be curable. It isn't fatal (nowhere near) but it means I won't be able to post as often as I could. It could change to just updating once a week etc. **

**Also, I have a very big problem. I can't really do anything until I can fix it and I don't know how long it'll take. **

**So maybe this account will be a one-person thing for a while. **

**- Jasmin **


	12. In That Moment, We Almost Had USUK

**Aaand I'm back, with more crack-filled Hetalia randomness! I think I'm going to post two chapters today, to say sorry for any uncontrollable weeping, shivering fits, ranting rages etc. that not having a chat a day may have induced. **

England is online

America is online

America: Englaaaaand *sidles closer to England*

England: Y-yes?

America: *takes England's hand, looks into his eyes*

America: *hits England with his own hand*

WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF

WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF

WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF

England is offline

America is offline

France has turned off invisibility

France: *facepalms* And in that moment, we almost had USUK.

France is offline

**So, was that America being an idiot (we still love him though XD) or was it something else... **

**Probably me trolling the world. XD *insert troll-face here* **

**I felt like doing a pairing, but I didn't know if I was going to make a FrUK chat or a USUK, so I searched them both up. Apparently USUK is more popular. O_o I still ship FrUK more. **

**See you in a few hours! **

**P.S. I thought the invisibility thing would be good for sneaking into chats. Kesesese~**


	13. Bond James Bond

**Back again~ **

**I really am sorry for being away, especially as I might be on holiday near the end of January. This being-sick thing is really annoying -_- but, on the bright side, I had time to (finally) hear the Dark Marukaite Chikyuu! Is it wrong to sing along/laugh like a maniac/set it as my ringtone? **

America is online

England is online

England: *strikes pose* My name is Bond. James Bond.

America: *rolls eyes* My name is Please. B*tch Please.

England: Rude.

**I randomly thought of this and then I knew I had to post. I was going to have another but- wait, actually, I think I will post it tonight. I'd better hurry- it's 11 o'clock and I don't have credit! **


	14. Italy Needs Mental Help: Part 1

**Ita-chan, Ita-chan, Ita-chan. You need a doctor. **

Italy is online

Romano is online

Romano: I can't believe I have to ask YOU this.. Fratello, I'm bored. What can I do?

Italy: Take a bee and put it in the freezer. It will get cold and fall asleep. After a while, take it out of the freezer and put it in your mouth. But make sure not to eat it! Later, it will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Romano: WHAT THE HELL CAZZO WHY WOULD I WANT A BEE IN MY MOUTH

Italy: Ve~

Romano: That's it. We are getting you mental help.

**Trololol~ XD **


	15. Italy Needs Mental Help: Part 2

**Again, I'mma do that thing where we try to get to a certain number of reviews- this time, 35. I know, it's a lot, but I'm interested to know how many people will even read up to this chapter. **

Italy is online

Romano is online

Dr. C. Niall is online

Dr.: All right, let's talk about your brother.

Romano: there' something very, very wrong with him

Dr.: What do you mean?

Romano: I'll show you...

Romano: *sees what Italy's doing* *chokes* BROTHER STOP

Italy: But it's art! *continues glueing Cheetos to cat*

Dr.: *gulps* Okay, Italy, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions.

Italy: okie

Dr.: How are you feeling today?

Italy: Like I'm walking on sunshine!

Dr.: *takes notes* Do you have any religious beliefs?

Italy: I believe we are all controlled by divine potatoes that plot our every move

Dr.: Well... That's nice-

Italy: ALL HAIL THE CONTROLLING POTATOES

Dr.: So... What do you like to do in your free time?

Italy: I like to read

Romano: *coughs* since when

Italy: did you know that books are really tattooed dead trees?

Dr.: No, no I did not-

Italy: And that the human body has just enough bones to make a skeleton?

Dr.: Well, it's been nice meeting you. You two are such, er, lovely boys!

Italy: Spamano fanfiction~

Dr. C. Niall is offline

Romano: WAIT DON'T GO

the chatroom is empty

**See what I did there with the doctor's name- C. Niall? Senile? **

**But seriously, I really need cheering up. Today I saw the Amanda Todd video, and I almost cried. And then I saw all the awful comments and actually did. **

**;A; RIP Amanda Todd. We love you, ignore those idiots who flamed you. Review and tell everyone if you're on her side. I might post another story and tell fanfic readers/writers on here about her, and see how many people support her. **


	16. Italy Needs Mental Help: Part 3

**Next instalment of the ****_Italy Needs Mental Help_**** arc! Hope you like~ Sorry if Roma's a bit OOC, but, on the bright side: COUNTRYBALL! My first time writing it, so tell me if I stuffed it up. **

Italy is online

Romano is online

Germany is online

Romano: Fratello, we are going to fix your idiot mind once and for all! *snaps fingers*

Germany: This is for your own good. Sorry, Itaria.

Germany: *knocks Italy out cold*

Italy: *unconscious*

Germany: well, now what do we do?

Romano: *whistles shiftily*

Italy: *enters Countryball AU*

Finlandball is online

Finlandball: *revives ailing Italyball with true Santaball spirit*

Italyball: Am... Am into heaven?

Italyball: *looks down* Mother of pasta! Am into ball! But who is saved me?

Franceball is online

Franceball: Is big brother France!

Finlandball: *glares **(H/N: cutely XD)** at Franceball* Is Finland!

Romano: Holy **** what have we done?

Germany: *sobs*

Germany: WHAT?! I DID NOT SOB, DUMKOPF WRITER! *sniffles* Italy...

Writer has turned off invisibility

Writer: *sweatdrops* okay, okay! Sorry!

the chatroom is empty

Writer is online

Writer: GERITA IS REAL

the chatroom is empty


	17. Italy Needs Mental Help: Part 4

**ummm, back! Miss me? **

***crickets chirping* heh probably not. Bet you've given up on the story.**

**2nd last part of the ****_Italy Needs Mental Help_**** arc, I think! Damn I'm dragging this one out! I had to split it into two parts in case it grew into more than 500 words. (I pride myself on having freakishly short chapters.) Sorry I haven't updated for a while, y'know. In this update, Italyball... is still Italyball, and we can't have that! So who better-suited to turning him back than the magic expert himself? **

**Gah I'M SO SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU WAITING THIS LONG. **

Italyball is online

Romano is online

Germany is online

France is online

Japan is online

England is online

France: Mon Angleterre, you must help us! Little Italy has turned into a- a BALL!

Italyball: CIAO! Am into ball! Today I am of feelings hyper~! *waves pasta sauce jar*

Romano: See, scone bastardo?

England: Hmph. Why should I help?

France: *soulful stare*

England: Ohmygod have you been watching that blasted dub movie again?! I told you already, I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY!

Eyebrows is online

France & Eyebrows: You know you want meh

France & Eyebrows: wait what

France & Eyebrows: Did you just-

France & Eyebrows: Iggy is MINE

England: That's it! I am shaving my goddamn eyebrows off as soon as I get home! And, bloody hell, leave me alone, frog!

France & Eyebrows: nooo

France & Eyebrows: AGH

France & Eyebrows: look, this is getting old

America is online

America: I mean, lemonade's all we've ever sold! :3

Everyone: what

Germany: THAT IS ENOUGH!

*ground shakes*

America is offline

**Anyone get that reference though XD XD XD **

**If you don't, go to YouTube and type in "the duck song" **

**I don't even know what I just posted... **


End file.
